Your Pain

Pain + Reflection = Progress 

Humans are wired to avoid pain. 

Generally, successful people are those who learn from their mistakes. However, some treat mistakes as blemishes, to be masked over and not discussed. 

Here’s a story about how a painful experience taught me something critical, but only after a few years. 

In the Fall of 2021, at the beginning of my MBA program, I aimed to be President of my cohort. Around 65 students. I had a large announcement, I campaigned, I shook hands -- I thought I was going to win. When it came time for my speech, I didn’t practice much, thinking that the win was assured. An arrogant 26 year old’s thinking! 

The speech went awful. I mumbled and bumbled, I wasn’t able to string together a coherent message. 

I lost the election. 

In the next year, I did little to reflect on the pain of that experience. Still, writing about it is difficult. I chose to ignore and repress the feelings. My presentations throughout business school were okay, but nothing spectacular. 

A few weeks ago, as I was researching this post by reading Principles by Ray Dalio, I came across the quote and lesson at the top. Reflecting on a painful situation, and then acting to improve is how you progress. 

So before my next speech in a class, I practiced. Hard. I went through my speech for a few hours, writing it, rewriting it, tweaking it, cutting it down. 

I went in font of a class, very similar to the class room back in 2021, and I delivered my story. 

I crushed it. The professor came up to me after class and told me how many students approached her with praise for my speech. Students came up to me and patted me on the back, asking to connect and for my help. It was a fantastic feeling.

It was only because I reflected on my painful experience that I was able to move past my ego, fix the underlying root cause, and progress to a win. 

Next time you’re in mental pain, go towards it. 

PK